Communication

What I have learned about communication. Without it, there is 100% chance of misunderstanding.

Cleaning house

So it's Saturday and I am cleaning my house....cleaning my house literally and figuratively. Cleaning the house is a good feeling....a better feeling is watching someone else do it or even going to get a pedicure while someone else is doing it.

But today I am doing it, and while I do it literally, I am also doing it in my head. What about my "house" needs to be cleaned or even thrown out? I found a lot of old stuff that was saving, but when I look at it now I realize that it is no longer important. That was then. Different things are precious to me now and those things I am saving. Some things I thought were important to hang on to but I realize now that I was wrong.

I am dusting out the cobwebs in corners I have not dealt with and moping up the messes that have been there for too long.

Tomorrow I may be really really sore, but sometimes cleaning can be painful and you really have to put your back into it or it never really gets clean.

Ok, the metaphors are starting to get to me and I have more to do.
Talk to you soon.

Love,
Mrs. Clean

Friendship

I so love what happens when friends get together. Like today I spent the morning with a friend. We were simply running errands together but being around her made me happy. I actually just saw her a few days ago but it didn't matter...I was still happy to see her today.
In another week or so I am re-connecting with my dearest friend from elementary school. I haven't seen her since the end of 6th grade. I am so excited. I have even spent some time looking at my year book from that year, saw the pictures, read all the things we wrote to eachother...it was embarassingly precious.
Any happiness right now is a good thing. Happy makes healing happen more quickly. I was going to say quicker but that would have been a bad example in "blogging 101".
Happy also lowers your blood pressure and it boosts your immune system.

So connect with a friend as soon as you can and be happy.

Balance

The challenge this season is to maintain balance. With a wanna-be independent 18yr old, a 14yr old and me, there are definitely an array of wants and needs. Issues with the cars and rides and plans and dinner and friends and money and schedules and appointments, all swirl through the house every day. I would rather Mr. Clean swirl through my house every day.
With an exception of a few... oops I forgot and I lost track of time, and I will do it later....we have kept everything upright so far...but the ship is beginning to take on water and that's not good. Hopefully in the next few weeks Emily will have a schedule and an income...Joe will have his golf pass and be linking up with his buddies...get it..."linking up" : ) and I will be able to stand up and declare to the neighborhood "This ship will not sink despite the storm."

Trade in

Ok, today's entry is going to be a bit short. But don't be fooled by it's shortness. Just because it's short doesn't mean it's not big.
Often in life we find ourselves standing in front of a smouldering pile of ashes....ashes of what we hoped for, our vision. Maybe they are ashes of lost relationships or special people in our life. Maybe they're ashes of a job loss. Or maybe they are the pile of ashes our teenager left behind after we have worked our fingers to the bone to raise them, lost hundreds of hours of sleep that lead to Dr's appointments and prescriptions and counseling and....well I think you get the idea.

So, today I have decided that I am going to trade in my ashes for a bouquet of roses.
I am doing it right now, mentally and then after another cup of coffee, a shower, and putting on my wig, I am going to do it physically so that I have to look at that bouquet through the day and remember that I have not only traded in but I have traded up.

You da' Man....

In our house there is an empty space where my husband used to be....a manhole if you will...
Although my son's instinct is to try and fill that space, he is only 14 and too young to take that on. And just because my daughter loves monster trucks and Nascar, that doesn't mean she is the man for the job either.

So I guess that leaves me....as it should... you can call me "mad" (that would be mom+dad) or you could call me "dam" (dad+mom). Oh the irony.

Honestly, I don't like being the man...I wasn't made to be the man. So...as a result of this new dynamic, I will henceforth be turning over my man-duties to "The Man".

Holiday Plan B

This entry is going to be a hard one for me.

With dad (my husband) gone, the 4th of July looks much different this year. Traditional celebration is too painful. My son asked for a change of scenery to avoid painful reminders. So we packed up and headed to Grandma and Grandpa. At Grandma's house there is French Toast, entertainment, golf, someone to pick up after you, provide snacks without restriction and cozy beds where you can sleep forever if you want.

Time with extended family is part of the plan as well. We are looking forward to that.
It is not our first choice, as I am sure you can imagine, but it is a great soft place to land for a few days.