The dragonfly and me

I will try to make this short...wish me luck. Several years ago I was riding shotgun with a friend in her car. She asked me a very odd question..."What do you think of dragonflies?" "When I am with you I think of dragonflies"

Oh gee...thanks so much..."I really don't like them" I replied...."They are ugly and have no sense of direction....they really don't have a reason to exist.

Silence....lots of silence...then she asked, "What does that remind you of?"
Well, you kinda had to be there for the conversation before this conversation..... I replied "Me....that is exactly how I feel about me."

After having had my first battle with breast cancer and the resulting surgery.... two 10lb babies.... focusing 99.9% of my days on raising an autistic daughter.... I felt ugly...I was in survival mode and I truly felt that anyone just this side of Charles Manson could raise my daughter better than I could.

Thus began a series of conversations with God about the dragonfly....questions arose such as, "Are you trying to tell me something?" "Prove it"....you know, simple stuff like that.

Next thing you know they were everywhere...I will list a few places....
1.everywhere I went outside my home
2.everywhere else

I have been amazed over the years how I have grown to love the dragonfly....it's an amazing, fabulously created, thought provoking little bug...that in it's beautiful dance has taught me so much.

Wait wait wait......

Now that I have had a bit of great news from the Dr. I have high hopes that I will be able to start doing a few things again....but for now I am still waiting.

If I am lucky....really lucky...I wont have to wait too long to start vacuuming my floors and area rugs, leaning over toilets with a toilet scrubber, digging wet clothes out of the washing machine and teaching my kids how to scrub the bathtub....I have to draw the line somewhere!

If I am super duper lucky I will able to vacuum my car.....and if I am super duper duper lucky...I might be able to finally roll over in bed without sitting up first, flipping over, and then laying back down. It wakes me up too much and then I have to get up and go....well you get the picture I am sure...
And finally the dream come true part of this would be to ride Holly again. I sure miss that...........for now all I can do is wait and dream of household chores.

Weird weather inspired me

The weird weather we've been having and something I read last night inspired me to think about this today.
I think over the last few years I have become the queen of analogies and metaphors and word pictures....just trying to learn my lessons over here....trying not to waste what's been put in front of me....so here comes word picture #147.....

We have all been through "Life's storms"....and if you haven't...brace yourself...
storm avoidance doesn't last forever...
Sometimes you hear it approaching from a distance and other times is a lightning strike right in front of you.

After a while the rain comes and it pours for days or months or years. Eventually the storm passes and you emerge to look around and survey what has happened and what you see surprises you....the grass is a deep shade of green, the flowers around you are blooming in vibrant colors...trees are laden with ripe fruit.....

All of this happened while you were dealing with the storm....what you didn't realize is that while the storm was pouring on you...your storm was also watering the people around you...providing for them encouragement to grow and bloom and make fruit(preferably peaches)...

Think about it.....that's all I'm asking.....

Finally, something that has nothing to do with Cancer

We, in the Pacific Northwest, are about to have a long "streak" of hot weather....no pun intended...yes there was, who am I kidding?! Our 7 day forecast shows mid 90's which translates into wilting....melting...laying on the tile floor surrounded by fans for those of us not used to temperatures that resemble the gates of hell.

So this picture is now going to be my screen saver for the next few days and we will see how well the mind-body connection works to cool me off while staring at it...drinking ice water...sitting on an ice pack...with my feet in a bucket of ice....maybe that's considered cheating...

Well wishes to all of you in the greater Seattle area...stay cool.....and don't get too hot either : ) (oh brother that was corny)

Gratitude

White whispers rise

Prayers like raindrops in reverse ascend

Angels kneel on Heaven's brim

Arms wide open with the weight of them

Deliver them to the lap of God

Who opens each one and hears their voice

Each one pleading for another

Some who know her and some who don't

Which leaves her speechless as she rests

Upon these prayers like a feather nest


LH 7/09


Thank you everyone for your prayers

Here Ye Hear Ye

Hear Ye Hear Ye....
The fluid in my lung cavity is going away and the cancer cells are dying !!! Let all who hear these words say AMEN!!

(The rest is going to have to wait until I can get past these tears of joy)

Does that make me crazy?

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space"

This is from Gnarls Barkleys song "Crazy"....a song I will be singing a bit louder when it rotates up on my i-pod next time...
I don't know if it was the radiation or the IV junk or the multitude of pills I have taken or age....but unless it is written down, I don't remember it....and even then it's dicey!

Gotta go call Ken about some hay now....wait what was I going to do? Oh ya more coffee...no that wasn't it.