I saw myself today.....it was bizarre and totally unexpected......I was laying on the radiation table, a Plexiglas square is slid in front of the lens of the machine and the button is pushed. The table I am on slides down...my eyes are uncharacteristically open and I see myself....like a Lifetime movie of the week.....no denial....X's lines arrows and circles marking "treatment" areas reflecting back at me.....for now there is no drifting off with the music, I don't even think I remember hearing the music at that point. RADIATION was all I thought....
Then I closed my eyes, not to avoid seeing myself but to sit with it for a minute and see if I could finally see it differently.....to see it helping me , fighting with me against these tumors, an ally......I think I may be getting there......slowly.
About 1/3 of the puzzle is done.....it's day 7...whom shall I fear?
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