So.....it was Dr day today....Dr Landis, the radiologist who doesn't look or sound a day over 19....after my treatment I was nestled into a exam room and waited. We did our typical review of pain medication and how was I feeling etc....then......against my "normal"....I asked another question. I told him that everyone had said that I was shorter.....he chuckled, flipped to the back of my chart and there in about 8 different colors was my spine and the outlines of the tumors.....all he wanted to do was look at the disc space and compaction etc...but there I sat staring at the very thing I didn't want to see............tumors..............I couldn't blink or close my eyes....it was no good.
There were red places and yellow places and white, and blue and green and I didn't know what any of that meant and I didn't want to know....but outlined in red were the tumors....only the ones that were on this 8.5x11 piece of paper in the file....but isn't that enough? The one that required the surgery was larger than......than I am comfortable with....I still can't process the thought of it very well even tonight.
As I stared at the page Dr. Landis began pointing out disc space and vertebrae stacking etc....he said that I wouldn't "grow" again but that the bone building medicine that they were giving me would prevent me from getting any shorter. Stinkin' tumors! They really messed me up today.
Tomorrow marks halfway through treatment. I see the neurosurgeon tomorrow....I am NOT going to ask any questions......denial sounds good right now....too much self improvement for one day I think. Dang these life lessons.
No comments:
Post a Comment