It's so strange to have life still moving forward without me. Chad's birthday is Monday and I can't shop for a gift or make the day stand out in any way. Schedules are changing at school and it's parent teacher conferences again.....I feel so "removed" from the everyday.....another totally surreal experience for this mom.
The tearing takes place every morning when I wake up here and know that my kids are off to school without my kiss goodbye or" have a great day" or making sure Joe has the lunch he wants or their hair is brushed or there is money in the lunch acct or all the permission slips are signed or they aren't being teased or homework is done and packed safely in backpacks......
Then again when they arrive home and there is no "how was school" or stories of recess successes or classes that are just too hard or funny stories the teacher told or "what's for snack"
How is not having mom affecting them? If God climbs in with me at night I am sure He climbs in with them too.....
And Chad....it's been good for them to go to their dad....good I say as I struggle with feeling less necessary that I thot. Good for Chad to be more necessary....
Am I catching myself being thankful again? How can that be?
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