Today

I opened my front door this morning to let the cat out. It was still very dark and it seemed colder than yesterday. I stood there for a few seconds and became aware of the total silence. There was no breeze, not a single sound. It felt oddly restful. I slipped on my son's coat that was nearby and stood there a bit longer. I thought about what life looks like now. I thought about my son who was still in his room asleep and how in just a few minutes his alarm would go off and he would wake again to his new reality. I thought about my daughter who is struggling with a condition that causes her great anxiety while she is facing huge life changes.
I thought about my appointment today with the Dr...wondering what the new treatment is going to look like, how it will affect my ability to be what I am being asked to be right now as a mom and a "dad" and a problem solver and a counselor and a form of glue to what used to be their world.

I took one last look outside and thought about the number of years I have seen those same trees and houses yet life looks so very different now. Before I closed the door I prayed for my son...for my daughter...and for an extra bit of strength.