Lois Lame

This may not be one of the funniest blogs I have written, but considering I have kinda committed myself to telling the "true story"...I guess it needs to be said.
Holy smoke...here I go...uhhhhh...ok....hmmm...
21 years ago I married the love of my life. We were friends for years before we even began to date. To me he was Superman...still is actually. I love him.

Life started with a house remodel aka "hell". The remodel was followed by a miscarriage, job loss, and the birth of our first child, a daughter, born with Autism. This was followed soon after by a move to a secluded island where resources were few. Child #2 arrived and motherhood, sleep deprivation, seclusion and Autism collided. The perfect storm was just beginning.

Another move was made. A move designed to provide support and education for a child who struggled through every day and a mom who knew she was unable to do this all on her own.
Though the move was complicated and difficult, it seemed that things would soon be looking up. Life was about simply surviving at this point.
In an attempt to survive, I thought it would be a good decision to check on my own health. There was no such thing as "me time" but somehow I found a few fleeting moments to see the Dr.

They found a spec on my mammogram..that turned out to be cancer which turned into surgery and recovery. Now motherhood, sleep deprivation,Autism, school and Breast Cancer collided.

The following few years were a battle. I was angry and I felt helpless and exhausted. Autism was not understood then the way that it is now. My days were spent fighting and advocating for my daughter only to be told I was crazy. It felt as if I was climbing a mountain of sand.

With the help of several Dr.'s, a Neuropshchologist, a School Advocate, and a few friends, we began to make headway.

Backache? Why wouldn't I have a backache? I am in my 40's and life is full of reasons for a backache. My reason though was Stage 4 Breast to Bone cancer. You know the rest.

Cancer gives you many reasons and lots of time to reflect on life. This, oddly enough, I see as a blessing.
Life has been complicated. For some reason we go into this thing expecting the "white picket fence".

So right now I want to say to my Superman husband that I am sorry. In an effort to "survive" I was not the wife I wanted to be. I guess you could say that to you I was "Lois Lame".

You are still my Superman...minus the tights...although I think I have had a glimpse the cape on occasion.

For the many times you have stopped the oncoming train, and kept our planet safe from harm..I thank you.