What was I thinking?!

Before my cancer diagnosis I felt I had a pretty normal perspective on things.
But things have changed...my perspective has changed...what I value now is so much different than before.

VALUE: To regard or esteem highly.
Life is more valuable to me, the people in my life are more valuable to me, relationships are more valuable than ever before.

Now is when I randomly make the dramatic shift to an example of value.....

When I look at the people in my life now, they shine and sparkle and I want to spend time with them and I set aside other things just to talk or have coffee or anything. I want to know them more and listen more and pay more attention to their lives. I try not to let life be an excuse for having no time to do these things. I try to say thank you more and I love you more. Wow, now look what you've done you darn friends, I need a tissue.

If I had 3 wishes today, one would deffinatley be that I could have arrived at this place sooner...I think it just takes hard times in our lives before we learn what we truly value and to take action in that direction.

I wish there was someone here to hug cuz' I gotta hug someone. My dog has fleas so he is not an option right now. Hopefully the mail man will show up soon.

Yadda yadda yadda goodnight

Have you ever been so tired that even making a cup of coffee seemed like a
gargantuan effort? I am just going to get the homeschoolers word for the day over with in the first sentence. I hope that is ok with everyone.
Here are some other words that describe tired.....weary, knackered, pooped, bushed, drained, sapped...I think I might need to eat a banana or something.

So with that as the foundation of this conversation let me talk a bit about yesterday. Yesterday I took a shower...you are welcome....and while I was in the shower...no! no! wait! don't leave...while in the shower I prayed. Albeit too much information, I do a lot of praying in the shower. So much so that a friend suggested that I offer a "shower prayer list " sign up page. All in favor? I didn't think so.
So that prayer included my appointment with a new Dr. yesterday. I was bound and determined NOT to like him. But yadda yadda yadda I have two scans and a follow up appointment next week. Ok, I understand that only devoted Seinfeld viewers are going to burst into a resounding chuckle at that last line. So for everyone else I will explain.

This new Dr. seemed to want to take me down a new path to healing. Doesn't that sound wonderful. Well, yes I suppose. But this new path is not without needles and other unpleasant things like brain MRI's and biopsies and ct scans. But I think I really kinda like him and his newfangled ideas.

So all that being said I will be off to the grocery store and back to my bed for a nap in record time. I may even leave the grocery store part out to achieve the nap part much faster. Yah, that is what I am going to do.

Three pronged day

Today is best described as a "three pronged day".
Prong #1 is my son the photographer, of whom I am so proud to the point of bursting out in song, is having one of his photos, that was taken during the AHS Homecoming game, published in our local paper. If you happen to live around these parts, you better go get your copy fast as I will be buying whatever copies are left right after I start a load of laundry and finish loading the dishwasher....and pick up the empty pop cans in the family room and taking them to the recycle can in the garage. So in other words...pretty soon.

Prong #2 is an interview with a new oncologist later today.
I must say that no one can compare to Dr. Lee in my eyes and in my heart....but due to the lack of spousal support, it appears that I must move my treatment closer to home. Grrrrr. That is all I have to say about that...well, no it's not but it is all I will say about that. So, updates on Dr. changes will be forthcoming.

Prong #3 is the choosing and carving of my Halloween pumpkin :) This will help me finish my day with a smile....I hope....tonight I will not be a cancer patient, but a pumpkin carving mom!

Forest "jumped"

Awwwwwwwwwwww, isn't he the cutest thing? This was my baby (now he is Ruth's baby)Forest Jump. I love Forest and I LOVE Ruth! Forest turned 1yr old this past June. He is a beautiful, sweet and friendly boy. Ruth is beautiful, sweet and friendly too, but she didn't try to jump the fence a few weeks ago. Ruth knew better....Forest did not.
I guess Forest just wanted to be happy and something on the other side of the fence looked like happiness to him. It could be that Forest didn't give much thought to the fence. That maybe the fence might be there for a reason....that possibly the fence was there FOR his happiness, not to prevent it.

So Forest jumped the fence and got a super big owie. Today I am going to go see Forest and hug him and love him and kiss him and then have a little discussion about the fence. Then I am going to hug Ruth and thank her profusley (homeschoolers this is your word for the day) for everything she has done and is doing for Forest and for me and for having a fence in the first place.

Oh what a night

WOW! What an amazing night. I am still gathering pictures and my thoughts to describe last Friday at "The Muse" in Conway, WA. What a great night it was and I am so thankful to everyone who was there and did so much for me. I can't say thank you enough times to actually express the level of gratitude I feel.

Coffee.....the juice of life

Today I learned that people in the U.S. receive most of their antioxidants from coffee. Scientists are saying that a serving of coffee contains more antioxidants than a typical serving of blueberries, grape juice, raspberries, or oranges. A cup of coffee contains up to four times as much antioxidant activity as a cup of green tea. Can I hear an AMEN..cuz' green tea tastes like the grass in my front yard...not that I have ever eaten the grass in my front yard.

Antioxidants protect people from free radicals produced in the body and in the environment and our diets.
Scientists are finding that drinking coffee makes it possible to postpone or prevent many degenerative diseases including cancer, heart disease cataracts, and diseases of the nervous system.
Chlorogenic acid is the main poly phenol in coffee, but there are others too. A Japanese study of 61,000 people found that coffee drinkers are less likely to develop liver cancer than those who don't drink it. To that I say bottoms up!
Caffeic acid, which I have never heard of, is another poly phenol found in coffee that has been shown to protect cells from oxidation. Caffeic acid works together with the cholorogenic acid to protect cerebral neurons, promote cell differentiation, and normalize colon function. Can I hear another AMEN!
The combination has been found effective at stopping cell proliferation and causing cell death in breast cancer cells...AMEN and HALLELUJAH.

This blog was written in all my own words...no it wasn't...I just wanted to appear smarter today because my brain is offically fried from these last 10 treatments...and all the carbon monoxide from the miles and miles of driving....ok that's not true either..or maybe it could be...I have no idea. But in my defense I have traveled 1,400 miles these past two weeks.

So Viva Cafe' as they say...and fill your day with caffeic acid and may you be better for it. As for me....it's a Punkin' spiced latte day!

The Team

The very first time I met my radiation team was in my hospital room the day after surgery. They were moving me from my bed to a backboard and to another bed. This bed transported me to another part of the hospital where they began taking x-rays and marking spots for my upcoming 5 weeks of treatment.

I spent most of that day feeling like I was watching myself in a Hallmark movie...that it couldn't be real...but I couldn't find the remote to change the channel.

On that same day I bonded a little with these people. They were very focused and spoke mostly in numbers but despite their mission they smiled at me a lot. There were several of them revolving around me in constant motion, but no matter what they were focused on, they made sure to provide me with a reassuring touch. As I stared at the ceiling I could feel someone pat my arm or squeeze my hand or brush my forehead.

As I moved through treatment we began having fun together....yes, I just said fun...
There was Mike and his quirky music...Jude and his sense of humor..Jean and her brilliant ability to take the fear out of everything and make you wish you could stay a bit longer. And there was Kathy who always was the first to greet you by name and the other Jean who smiled and cared about every detail and even sat with mom to help with the puzzle.

These amazing people became the "team". I had many rounds of radiation with the "team". Then one day I came to see Dr Lee and the "team" was gone.

Due to a bunch of contracts and decisions that I know nothing about, the "team" was moving to a different location and began to split up. That has made this round of radiation more of a struggle. Oh both Jeans are there and that soothes my troubled heart, but the "team" is no more and I feel vulnerable. I am back in the Hallmark movie where everything is strange again. I take that back. It is more like a dream because J.P. is there now too, and in what world does cancer, friends, strangers, treatment and J.P. Patches exist together. Ya, it's a dream.